Growing up, my dad was very critical. Not only of himself, but of my mom. Of my siblings. Of me. Of anyone, really. High standards, big expectations, and – if we’re to put a label on it – an absolute perfectionist.

Not completely unfortunately, I’ve taken on this characteristic. It has been good in a way, and likely an trait I have to attribute any of my life success to: striving for perfection.

I am not perfect, but pretending like I am is exhausting and I’ve let it hinder how I live. For example, I am blessed with brilliantly creative ideas very often. Or at least I feel these ideas are great…. for a short moment before my perfectionist ego swoops in and tells me my ideas are silly, irrelevant, or stupid.

As you might imagine if you can’t already relate, this is very, very burdensome.

Recently, the topic of perfectionism surfaced naturally with Dad. We enjoy lengthy and deep conversation over too many beers, and recently, he was explaining how he felt about the musical performances he has been pouring into at his church – a gift most would take pride in sharing. But instead of pride, gratitude and fulfillment, dad explained he focused most of his energy on what he could have and should have done better.

My heart sank, partially because it’s an unhealthy and unhelpful mindset. But also, I could relate.

There are SO many ways to be, do, have, live, sound… better.

We had a great discussion about shifting the mindset. I first inquired whether Dad had heard Theodore Roosevelt’s “Citizenship in a Republic” speech, better known as “The Man in the Arena.” We reflected on it with a few tears and dove deeper into sharing our talents.

Instead of making the church’s special music about his performance, could Dad view it as sharing a God-given talent with the church? Could he do a mindset shift and remember the music isn’t about him and his performance, but rather about God’s gift, the church and its members enjoying the music?

I have been working on similar mindset shifts. In fact, the thought for this blog post flooded in during a visit to a coffee house in the Twin Cities west metro I’ve been wanting to visit. I was ecstatic to find the place after a very challenging (and perfect) early morning yoga class. I ordered coffee and breakfast and chose the perfect table where I’d spend the morning doing a little reading and journaling before diving into work. It was going to be… perfect!

The barista called my name and with nothing short of a giant pep in my step, I went to retrieve my perfect coffee but instead was beyond disappointed to see a – God forbid! – coffee stain (!) on my otherwise perfectly white coffee cup.

At first, I felt disappointed. My Americano was no longer picture-perfect. SOMEONE had carelessly splashed just a little. It looked messy.

Recognizing this was petty, I carried the beverage back to my table, without the pep this time. The more I absorbed and reflected, I came to the conclusion the barista had prepared it with skill, care and love. The beverage lacked nothing. It was hot, strong and, as strong coffee does, contributed to a great start to the day. The sight of the paper cup – splash included – was part of the experience. It was unique and therefore, something to treasure! Best of all, it gave me time to reflect and prompted a start to something new: a reflection on my mental and physical wellness journey and whatever topics that arise.

Today is Nov. 1 and it’s my goal to share similar learnings and reflections though the end of the year. It won’t be perfect, but please – follow along!

Shootin’ the Wit is a sporadic blog about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.