Some people don’t know how to take a compliment. You try to tell them how great, cute, funny and wonderful they are, and all they do is roll their eyes and deny it.

I’m embarrassed to admit that I’m one of them. Simply put, I don’t know what to say or how to react. Does accepting the praise make you vain? Should you reciprocate with something you admire about the other person? Would it be rude to simply pretend you didn’t hear it? Is it okay to laugh, shake your head and change the subject?

Trust me, I’ve tried each of these responses, and they all leave me feeling as awkward as the next. Honestly, I’d be more comfortable taking a ride in a slow elevator with a near stranger.

Every time I receive a pat on the back, I’m bothered. It’s not that I don’t like being admired or appreciated, but I simply don’t know the proper way to react to such flattery!

I’ve always wondered how one masters the skill of being complimented. After all, this is something I should have been taught long, long ago. So, naturally, I did a little research.

Not wanting anyone to know how compliments make me feel, I googled “how to take a compliment” in the comfort of my own home. This seems like the type of thing you’d learn from your parents or in grade school during Home Ec class – not at home alone as you browse the internet in search of answers.

 

 

Luckily, very early on in my research, I found “steps” and “tips” of how to take a compliment. There was even a section on “warnings.” In fact, there was so much reading material that I considered complimenting the author on the length of his article.

Relieved that I wasn’t the only one who was unaware of common courtesy in this category, I began reading the four steps to taking a compliment: 1) Sit or stand up straight. 2) Smile. 3) Thank them. 4) Remember to accept without trying to take the subject off yourself or feeling like you have to pay them back.

I laughed. I had been doing the exact opposite of everything listed. Yes – all these years I’ve been failing to take a compliment the proper way.

Thankfully, the steps were followed by tips:
1) Practice the steps in a mirror. Imagine someone saying something nice and say “awww… thanks! That means a lot to me.” 2) Don’t change the subject without acknowledging the compliment. 3) Say “thank you” – it’s not difficult. 4) Remember that you – just like everyone else – are worthy of a compliment. 5) Use the compliment to further conversation.

I got up from the computer and headed for the bathroom to practice in the mirror. “Awww… Thank you!” I said, tilting my head to the side and forcing a fake smile. “That really means a lot!”

Then I realized how stupid I looked and went back to read the warnings:
1) Don’t object. 2) Don’t get so good at accepting that you forget to give a compliment every once in a while. 3) If they compliment on your apparel, refrain from saying, “Oh, this old thing?”  4) Don’t repeat. Saying, “Thanks, I like them too,” is repetitive. Of course you like it. Why else would you wear it?

Now that I know the proper etiquette for taking praise, I realize there should be no shame in gracefully accepting a compliment. Now all I need to do is find a way to get a compliment. Where were the tips for that?

Shootin’ the Wit is a weekly column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.