Smoothies, malts, shakes, slurpees, push-ups, or slushies – it doesn’t matter. They’re all delicious and awfully refreshing, especially on a hot day.

But how can chugging such a good thing give you complete delight one moment and take a turn toward intense forehead pain the next? For the next minute, you’re scrunching up your face in absolute agony – moaning, squeezing the bridge of your nose, and smacking your forehead with an open hand.  Ahh, yes — the dreadful ice cream headache — there to remind you that your rapid gulping is a tad extreme. Slllloooow down, Bucko!

This excruciating pain is obviously caused by the intake of a cold concoction. Unfortunately, eliminating the consumption of cold treats is not an option! Therefore, I became determined to discover the secrets behind brain freeze in hopes to avoid ever experiencing it again.

Read on, fellow ice cream devotees — these facts are for you!

* First of all, the scientific explanation: These headaches have been studied as an example of ‘referred pain’ – an unpleasant sensation localized to an area separate from the site of the painful stimulation. When the cold object touches the roof of your mouth, the blood vessels contract to prevent loss of body heat. As the coldness recedes, the blood vessels relax, quickly increasing blood flow to the brain. This sudden release is what causes the intense headache sensation.

* As we already know, the pain is brought on by high-speed ingestion and peaks after about 20 seconds. Though it feels like four hours, the entire headache generally doesn’t last longer than about one minute.

* Frozen yogurt, since it’s generally more ‘liquid’ than traditional ice-cream at lower temperatures, will trigger brain freeze easier than dairy ice-cream, cold drinks or ice.

* The headache is supposedly only elicited in hot weather. This was news to me. I guess when I’m enjoying ice cream in the winter, the last thing I’m thinking is why am I not experiencing an ice cream headache right now? It sure has been a while!

Continuing my research, I was hoping to find some type of information on prevention or treatment of brain freeze. My hopes escalated as I began reading the following statement about the "treatment" of ice cream headaches:

"No treatment is usually required, and sufferers rarely seek medical attention. Since the palate is most likely to produce pain, avoiding contact of the cold food with this area can effectively eliminate the symptoms. Most people arrive at such preventive measures without the advice of doctors."

That helpful information was taken (for free!) from howstuffworks.com. You get what you pay for.

Hmm… looking further, I found these helpful hints to help reduce the pain next time you sense an oncoming freeze:

* Let the bite or sip warm on your tongue before you let the substance touch the roof of your mouth. l Warm the roof of your mouth after it’s already been cooled. If you do this soon enough, you may be able to ease the surge of blood flow to your brain. Use the bottom of your tongue, as is likely warmer than the top side, which was probably cooled by the beverage you just guzzled.

* Drink a warm substance. Slowly sipping room temperature water might even do the trick.

* If youre fine with public humiliation, make a mask with your hands to cover your mouth and nose. Breathe quickly, raising the temperature inside your mouth… classy, I know.

* Equally as graceful, victims of an ice cream headache can try to press a warm thumb against their palate. 

* For the more passive: wait it out. The brain freeze will pass on its own. While you’re in pain, try to see if you can endure the entire ice cream headache without making any awkward facial expressions or touching your face.

You probably won’t savor this information as much as your frigid treat, but it might come in handy next time you just cant help but swiftly gulp it down.

As for what works best, I haven’t yet tested them. Since brain freeze has never proven to be fatal, I plan to test each of the proposed solutions before winter rolls around.

Shootin’ the Wit is a weekly column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.