The statistics are disheartening: fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.  Wow!  What are we doing wrong? Rather than having a mindset of what used to be a lifelong commitment, perhaps we’ve adapted a "lets-give-it-a-go" attitude towards marriage.   
As a person who has never been married (or come even remotely close), I’ve been trying to decipher what happy couples have that the miserable duos are missing.

I once read that "marriage to the wrong person is like having a cellmate, not a partner."  That’s encouraging!  So not only do we have a 50/50 shot at having a successful marriage, but of the "successful" marriages, some couples feel they’re residing with a cellmate!? 

Now, I’m no math major, but the marital equation is not very statistically pleasing.  So why do we do this to ourselves?  Maybe starting up an F-M WannaBeSingle4Ever Club isn’t such a bad idea after all.  Care to join? 

Still, I’m curious about what we overlook the day we make our vows.  What changes years after we say "I do"? Do new problems surface or do existing problems amplify – rather than vanish – over time?  Do you suddenly panic at the thought of being together forever? Yep. Forever – just like the words echo in The Sandlot:  "FOR. EV. OR…  FOOOR….EVVV….OOOOR." 

 
Here’s an idea: instead of a lifelong commitment, what would happen if marriages were only a five or ten year contract?  Once the agreement expires, you and your partner could decide if you want to renew your contract or part ways. If you’re not happy together, you divvy up your stuff, say "adios," and go on your merry way.  No lawyers, no "divorced" title, no feelings of failure, and best of all — no living miserably through a dreaded lifelong commitment with someone you can no longer justify being married to.  

Sounds like a great plan to me!  However, some might find an ethical issue or two involved with this contract idea.  For those of you who don’t find humor in how lackadaisical our concept of matrimony has become, I’d like to propose a few ideas of what we need to change.  (Note: If you’ve already had your walk down the aisle, I’ve got nothing for you.)

Be patient! 
Some couples are choosing to marry at a ridiculously young age.  Are you really done growing when you’re 19?  Do you really believe you and your future (permanent) companion don’t need room to change in the next few years?  ‘

Why are we in such a rush to tie the knot?  Granted, this is all coming from a person who is a "little" commitment shy, but maybe we would have a better chance of getting hitched and staying hitched if we were a bit more patient.

While it’s obviously exciting at first, keep in mind you’ve got the rest of your life to spend with this one person.  And with the way some marriages pan out, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to hold off for a few (8-10) years.

Back off!
Perhaps our abundant divorce rate is a result of family or societal pressure to "take the next step" rather than the desire to fully commit ourselves to an everlasting relationship.  While pressure from others shouldn’t be a factor in this significant decision, it might be hard to think straight when all you can hear is the loud tapping of your impatient mother’s foot.  If she wanted grandkids so badly, maybe she should have gotten an earlier start!

Never settle
Finally, (and most importantly!) we need to stop settling for "good enough." I’ll never forget opening up the wrapper of the only brand of chocolate I enjoy shortly after ending another unsatisfying relationship.  The quote inside the foil wrapper reflected back at me: "Never Settle," it read.  It’s been my motto on relationships ever since.  

There’s no harm in waiting for someone who you feel privileged to be with, rather than settling for someone you merely think you can put up with forever.  And ever.  And ever… 
 
Shootin’ the Wit is a weekly column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.